Joined: Dec 25, 2006
Location: fresno, CA
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....and my grandson too!" Nancy's words are still ringing in my ears two days later. Somethings just don't take thier rightful place in reality sometimes, and no matter how much experience you've had with these things they still catch you off guard. John had been one of the 'old guard" when I started working at the steel fab shop 25 years ago. Back then I wouldn't have called him a nice man, but no one would have disputed he was a good man. I was a 28 year old father of 4 who had been unemployed for 3 months when I started working with John as a helper. When I wasn't busting my ass making parts, or cleaning and painting steel, I was helping John actually build beams, columns, and steel frames. John knew we were dirt poor and he would bring things he had "grown in his garden" (even though sometimes these things were still packaged from the store). Or sometimes his wife had "bought the wrong kind and none of us will eat it". And there were "hand me down" clothes his kids had outgrown, and his youngest was 10 years older than my oldest. I knew he was helping out my family, which had now grown to 5 kids, and sustaining my pride at the same time. He was a gruff old bastard-not OLD at 15 years older than me-and I sometimes wished he was my dad. Not because he was "nice", but because he was honest. He was secure in his beliefs but at the same time didn't feel a need to deminish somebody else's. By the time the company I work for had grown from 7 when I started to 20+ people John had trained me to be a top layout fitter and then, when he left to be an inspector I took his place as quality control supervisor. In this position it was my job to deal with inspectors when they came to the shop, and we always enjoyed Johns visits. Some inspectors were jerks and some were nice guys. Some knew thier jobs and others had to be coached, John knew what he knew and was honest when he didn't. He was always ready to help get the job delivered on time while playing "tough guy". John was very fit for a 67 year old who had been run over on his bicycle and nearly died. He liked to play rough with the young guys and everybody knew how strong he was. And now his wife Nancy was on the phone telling me that he was gone! And her 6 year old grandson too! I imediately thought they had been in an accident, but before I could speak she said they had drowned. It just didn't make any sense. John was a good swimmer and the pool was only 5 feet deep. Death often comes as a surprise, in circumstances which cannot be predicted. The paramedics and police on the scene determined from the contusions, above John's left eye, and on his grandson's forehead, that the boy had jumped into the pool expecting John to catch him and they hit heads. I'm kind of sad right now, but I can think of a lot worse ways to go than playing with your grandson. ---------------------------------
If you meet the Buddha, kill him
Posted on
07/28/2008 at 22:37
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Joined: May 22, 2007
Location: Cheyenne, WY
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Kip, Nice eulogy. You painted a great picture of the man; your respect shows. I'm sorry for your loss. I'm honored you shared your loss with us. I wish you all the best as you grieve and come to terms with this tragedy. We should all be grateful for the days we have; you just never know. Best wishes, Jack
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"There ain't no Devil, there's just God when he's drunk." -- T. Waits
Posted on
07/28/2008 at 23:29
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Joined: Dec 06, 2007
Location: SPRING, TX
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I don't have the words..... Best wishes. Mike
Posted on
07/28/2008 at 23:27
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Joined: May 19, 2007
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... ditto.
Posted on
07/28/2008 at 23:33
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Joined: Jan 19, 2007
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Hey Kip, Sorry for your loss. Like you said, not a bad way to go. But it sucks just the same.
Sounds like John was a good man. We can all perpetuate his kindness. Steven
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Posted on
07/29/2008 at 00:22
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Joined: Nov 17, 2006
Location: Corpus Christi, TX
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Kip I know from your earlier post that you see some order to our universe and purpose in our lives. Maybe John had to protect another young man on his final journey. That won't heal your heart for long time, but perhaps someday it will make some kind of sense. Hug your loved ones and be grateful every day. I'm sorry for the pain i know you are feeling. Bob
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"Go out, things happen. Stay at home, they don't" .....................Ted Simon
Posted on
07/29/2008 at 00:30
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Joined: May 03, 2007
Location: Longwood, FL
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No words...my thoughts are with you
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Why are you reading ths?
Posted on
07/29/2008 at 08:20
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Joined: Nov 26, 2006
Location: Independence, MO
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Certainly, a tragedy.... the loss of a good life still unfinished... and a life yet to be fully lived.... my sympathies.
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******Mike****** "We choose our joys and our sorrows long before we experience them."
Posted on
07/29/2008 at 10:39
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Joined: Dec 26, 2006
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Kip, I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing the respect for your friend with us. Deb
Posted on
07/29/2008 at 10:59
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Joined: Dec 20, 2006
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Kip... the depth of our losses is almost always a good measure of our gains. Seems like you gained much. I'm so very sorry for the void my friend.
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Fast.... oh yeah... I remember fast.
Posted on
07/29/2008 at 13:01
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Joined: Nov 12, 2006
Location: Kansas City, MO
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+1
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'06 ducati 620 Multistrada;
'81-ish BMW R100 "Project Enduro Rat"
Posted on
07/29/2008 at 13:06
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Joined: Dec 25, 2006
Location: fresno, CA
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First of all I'd like to say THANK YOU for all of the kind thoughts. And secondly...it's truely amazing what lies just below the surafce of consciousness. The thoughts, memories and emotions (often unrelated to this topic) which have flooded my awareness these past few days have really surprised me. I've been "examining" my relationships with my friends and family somewhat involentarily these past few days and don't nescisarily like everything I've found. Most noteworthey is my relationship with another deceased friend. It's surprisingly easy for me to "lay John to rest" because there are no unfinished chapters in the book of his life. It was a good life and a good death. I could not ask for more. But my relationship with the other I mentioned was less honorable, and therefore lacks closure. It's been almost a year since Sharon died. She was the baby sister of a childhood friend that I wrote about last year in the story I called "Meloncholy Baby". I've been thinking about her for almost a year and I keep thinking I could have done more. What I described in that story was the typical "day in the life" for the entire 4 months I was her neighbor in that hotel in Fresno's "China Town". I was the resident of room 22 where she left most of her hard earned money every day. When I fled that enviornment I never looked back and never considered those I left behind. I should have done something. But I never offered my hand. Sometimes we just don't do the right thing, speaking strictly for myself of course.
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If you meet the Buddha, kill him
Posted on
07/29/2008 at 23:59
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Joined: Dec 24, 2006
Location: Austin, TX
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"Sometimes we just don't do the right thing" If the past is a mirror, today and everyday, endeavor to fill your past with what you'd prefer to see looking back at you. I'm just saying . . . You know . . . C
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401K? Retirement? Ha! Don't be ridiculous!
Posted on
07/30/2008 at 08:08
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Joined: Dec 20, 2006
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 Flowupstream said: Sometimes we just don't do the right thing, speaking strictly for myself of course. Hey Kip... I've never met anybody who gets it right all of the time. I figure you bat 600 in life you pretty much get canonized. That means you get it wrong 40% of the time. That doesn't me that we stop swinging for the fences... but life happens man. The good news is that until our final moment, somebody is going to toss us something to swing at and the chance is always there that we'll knock it out of the park. Ok... i've used up my entire life's allotment of baseball analogies  .... but you get my point. later t.
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Fast.... oh yeah... I remember fast.
Posted on
07/30/2008 at 10:34
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Joined: Dec 24, 2006
Location: Austin, TX
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The hardest hit in baseball is a bunt down the third base line. Success in Life is a series of bunts down the third base line. At least I think so. Home runs? Home runs are sent from Heaven every once in a long while. And how often does that happen now that pitchers know they only have to throw for three innings? "The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been baseball. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. It has been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt and erased again. But baseball has marked the time. This field, this game . . ." - Terrence Mann, Field of Dreams C
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401K? Retirement? Ha! Don't be ridiculous!
Posted on
07/30/2008 at 17:47
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